

We snorkelled, dozed and stopped for a lunch of freshly grilled sea bass at a secluded, unfussy local restaurant.
WHATBIS MY TIME ZONE SERIES
The following day was less rigorous and involved a private speedboat tour of Kornati National Park, a series of islands just off the Dalmatian coast. We came to refer to these guys, collectively, as “the Dreamboats”. Ivan, our guide for the day was - like all our subsequent water-based guides - a relaxed, cheerful, ruggedly handsome twenty-something Croatian. The Zrmanja was clear and lush and the kayaking a genuine workout. At times it was just so pornographically compelling that it felt like being trapped in the preset desktop wallpaper of a new computer.
WHATBIS MY TIME ZONE FULL
It involved the four of us joining a number of other families on a six-hour journey in two-person kayaks and was my first full dose of Croatia’s ridiculous natural beauty, which - I would come to understand - could often seem almost hyper-real in colour and texture: bright-blue water, emerald-green forests, rugged, silver-grey mountains and gorges that sparkled in the sun. The first trip was down the Zrmanja River, an hour’s drive from Zadar. Then came two days of back-to-back boating. Something, frankly, a little more grown up. It was time for something that didn’t revolve entirely around hammocks and ice creams and pools. Over the past year they’ve improved immeasurably at what you might call General Coping. Our children are no longer so little - our daughter is seven our son nearly nine. we were going to try something different. This summer my other half and I decided that the time had come. We’ve had some lovely holidays doing this, but I’d be lying if I said that my memories of them aren’t all starting to merge into one. They’d like exactly the same experience as they had yesterday, please - to get tangled in the same hammock, to eat the same flavour ice cream, to splash about until dusk in the same swimming pool. Here you all are, somewhere bright and new, and they are entirely nonplussed. You come to realise how cautious and conservative they can be. When they start to walk, talk and have opinions of their own, they’re often unbending in what they want from a holiday. Foreign baby food? Goes through them like a TGV. They’re not suited to air travel or long car journeys, time-zone changes destroy them and hot weather turns them into sweaty little Smeagols. I love my children, but they’ve tipped the way we go on holiday on its head, because young kids are basically terrible people to go away with. To convert PST to MST, you have to add one hour.Thursday September 14 2023, 12.01am, The Times

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